My latest visit to Stan

Yesterday, I felt drawn to visit Stan after an a little absence. I visit Stan spontaneously and not at specific times, yesterday seemed right. I wondered how I would find him. He was sitting alone in his room in front of a blank T.V.screen. I greeted him cheerily, his eyes brightened on seeing me. I always ask him if he recognises me, and as always comes the soft response "Gina".

I nattered on about the different Fuchsia folk we know, always checking that he understands what I'm saying. This way I get a response from him. I told him about the new varieties, and asked what he thought about them. Stan makes a terrific effort to communicate and when I ask certain questions either replies by saying "I don't know" or saying "Good, well done"

Yesterday, he seemed to be saying that he wanted to "Get out". That meant several things to me, he wanted to get his words out, his feeling expressed, and he literally wanted to get out of that room. Stan's room has many beautiful photographs taken by him. Some are from a time when he took photos of my plants. There is a magnificent picture of " Kit Oxtoby" opposite his bed. There is a large frame containing smaller photos of Stan with Joyce, his beloved Fuchsias and his own varieties.

I asked him " Stan, is that President Stanley Wilson?" A nod, from Stan

"Stan, what a beautiful Fuchsia, that's Joyce Wilson isn't it? "Stan's eyes lit up and he beamed "YES!!

I went round the frame checking my understanding of his treasured raisings. At one point I told him about an e-mail I'd had from Keith McManus, who had discovered an old article written by Stan, many years ago. Stan showed a keen interest in that. Keith regularly e-mails me and voices his concern regarding Stan and his state of health, he is one of the few Fuchsia folk who regularly sent cards to Stan and acknowledges Stan's contribution to the B.F.S.

At another stage I impulsively suggested that he write another book, as I'm positive there is a struggling writer in Stan's head waiting to be liberated. He is limited by physical speech and movement, but the eyes still burn bright at times. I asked him if he would like me to take a notebook in next time and take some notes down another vigorous nod and a good sounding "Yes, please."

At one stage, I was stroking Stan's face and hands, I blurted out

"Gosh, Stan your face and hands are so smooth, you could be an advert on T.V.!" He chuckled at that and moments later laughed out loud.

I cut short my visit, as a nurse came in to regulate Stan's feeding tube, I'd stayed 50 minutes. .

I went down to the Reception to book out, I heard a familiar voice and discovered my youngest step-grand-son, Ricky, to be working as a chef in the Nursing Home. On discovering that I was visiting Stan, he said " Oh, Stan, lovely old chap, like the rest here only gets his family visiting, how long have you been coming?"

We stood and chatted a while, we were in common agreement, that people stay away for several reasons. Fear of not knowing what to say, excuses of not enough time, too busy and forgetting the poor souls in there. Just turning up for a little while makes so much difference to a person's spirit, when they are alive.

According to Joyce, on one of her visits, in response to one of her comments, Stan replied "Don't be stupid, I can't do that" I think that demonstrates the Spirit that is still burns brightly in Stan. As I walked out into the pouring rain, I felt glad, privileged and happy that I know such a fine, humorous and delightful gentleman. On my visits to Stan, I learn so much about the vitality of life and the human soul. How lucky I am!!